No knifes at work please.

Friday mornings isn't just a workday for us at the restaurant, it's a day where everybody is trying to make a buck. Just please if you need to make a buck at our work, don't show us your knife and tell us we're going to get molested and killed if we're going to Mexico. We'll let you do your work safely as long as you let us do our safely.

"Is this thing on?"

Please people we're just trying to do our jobs. So if we ask you questions, just answer, verbally, physically, whatever way you can. Please, please dont just stare at us. It's uncomfortable for everyone. And really how hard is it to just say, "fine", "bad", "great", "come back later". We dont want to interrupt an argument, or an uncomfortable silence, a break-up or a breast-feeding, but you came out to eat. U came to be waiting on by another human and so that means that someone will be coming up to you and talking and rechecking on you. If you want to be left alone, stay at home and save us from the awkwardness.

"Made a Crazy Person Chill" merit badge day

Some Friday Mornings, we are forced to deal with peoples lack of social skills. This woman came in and showed her erratic and negative side because of our lack of white bread and the smell like mustard. Although we vent because it's difficult to deal with these attitudes, we always try to make these people feel comfortable about their crazy. For that we get $0.75 tip from them but a "Made a Crazy Person Chill"congratulatory merit badge from the other servers.

Seagull Boobs

For many Friday Mornings there has been a high maintenance woman and her hubby coming in. A sigh could be heard from all the servers, bartenders, cooks, and bakers when "seagull boobs" and her mans loud, screeching voices starting demanding the moment they entered the restaurant. Demands of specific tables and whomever was sitting in the table to move, while insisting on keeping their legs erected in the aisle to trip the servers. Demands in free bakery for several weeks without a thank you. The entire time without ever realizing that staying at one table for hours on end and tipping less than 15% made them into our nemesis. Although they seemed to think they were royalty of the restaurant, we (the people) of the restaurant have spoken and declared them Queen Seagull Boobs and King of Arrogance from the land of Demands.

Order of Things

It's Friday morning, enough said.

Loaded Server

Its Friday Morning and we're done. It turns out that serving person after person with dietary restrictions, allergies, messy and crying babies, anger issues, mental issues, control issues, abandonment issues or any other kind of issues and just plain jerks we have lost our cool. We wont let you know our cool is gone, we're professionals damn it, but our cool is gone and after work we're gonna get loaded.

Their Way or the Highway

Oh boy Friday morning people know what they want. Don't bother them with logic or business policy. There is no understanding for Friday mornings and don't bother killing with kindness, you've ruined their Friday morning lives.

We'll be the ones with the throw up on.

Noon on Friday morning, a man dressed in a suit awaits at the bar with a red rose and a poem book. We puke. A woman emerges and suit perks up and leads her to a table. We ask if we can get them anything, the suit cant look away from womans eyes so sends us away. We puke. We come back ten minutes later, suit asks the woman "Shall we indulge in some champagne?" We puke. The man watches her intensley, woman looks a little uncomfortable but stays and indulges. Suit shows the woman the book of poems, not handwritten poems, just poems. Puke. We don't know how this ended because the suit and woman stayed so long, our shifts were over. We do know this, we hope the woman didn't fall for this fake man and if she did this pukes for her.